Heart Issues and the Healing at Bethesda – Taking Up Our Mats

John 5:1-13
Jesus Heals a Lame Man

The man in this passage of John was an invalid and had been for 38 years. We are told that the man was unable to walk and was thus lying on a mat just outside of a pool believed to have healing properties. A great number of people were gathered around this pool and whenever the water would get stirred up, the people would go down into the water in hopes of getting cured of their sicknesses and diseases. Can you imagine the mix of desperation, hope and expectation that must have been in the air around that pool?

And it is in the midst of this desperation, hope and expectation that Jesus singles this one man out. He walks up to him and asks him something very interesting. He asks him, “do you want to get well?”

Now, I don't want to seem cynical. But, think about this - why would the man need to be asked a question with such an obvious answer? Of course he wanted to get well. Right? Wouldn't anyone? And yet, Jesus still asked. What he asks him just stirs something in my spirit.

“Do you want to get well?”

And here is the man's reply - “I can’t, sir,” the sick man said, “for I have no one to put me into the pool when the water bubbles up. Someone else always gets there ahead of me.”

It's interesting to me that the man does not respond with a resounding yes. He instead justifies why he has not yet been healed. He rationalizes and offers Jesus... an excuse.

Admittedly, we can't possibly tell from this text exactly what the man was thinking, but is it that far a stretch to imagine that after 38 years as an invalid the man had grown accustomed to his condition and was a bit apprehensive about the possibility of living a life free from his bondage? Think about the significant changes that awaited him post healing.

You can bet that if he lived that many years, in that condition, someone or a lot of someones were taking care of him. Being healed and able bodied, was sure to bring him a whole new set of challenges – he would have to learn to do things for himself and unlearn dependence on others for his basic needs. He'd have to take on the responsibility for his life. He'd be held accountable. Think about what would become of him once his long term infirmity was no longer a hindrance. Can you imagine how much work that must have been for him? Now we know that he must have wanted to be made well more than he feared the outcome of that healing... after all he listened to Jesus. He took up his mat and walked.

But, I still find it interesting that he did not immediately exclaim, “YES, I sooo want to get well!!!!”

I can personally draw a spiritual application from this physical healing. Those of us that struggle with and remain stuck in heart issues that run contrary to the light of Christ and the fruit of the spirit... are all in someway sitting on our mats just outside the healing waters. And as we sit there wrestling with feelings like anger, bitterness, discontentment, depression, fear, anxiety, worry, jealousy, unforgiveness, lust, pride, self-pity, dishonesty, guilt, etc... we fail to walk in the abundant life we are called to in Christ.

Just the other day, as I read this passage, Jesus' question hit me... hard.

“Do you want to get well?”

It was as if Jesus himself was standing right next to me, waiting for my answer. Do you want to get well - REALLY want to get well? And I began to wonder - have I grown accustomed to and resigned myself to some of the heart issues that keep me “stuck on my mat”. On some level, is it working for me? Have these struggles become an excuse for not doing the hard work of submitting to the changes a life in Christ brings?

And then I wondered how true is this of so many other believers? How many of us are sitting on our mats just outside that pool and saying about the healing of our hearts - “I can't... every time I try... it hurts or it's just too hard... etc.”? And as we sit there, the living God is standing right next to us telling us that He's already healed us... telling us that all we have to do is get up off our mats and walk.

What are we waiting for? Jesus heals, we walk... simple as that.


Taking up my mat,

As Gold to the Fire... I Will Surrender to Your Hand

"In the whole land," declares the LORD, "two-thirds will be struck down and perish; yet one-third will be left in it. This third I will bring into the fire; I will refine them like silver and test them like gold. They will call on my name and I will answer them; I will say, 'They are my people,' and they will say, 'The LORD is our God.' " (Zechariah 13:8-9)

Created in the image of a Holy God and yet polluted with the impurity of unholy sin. This is the condition of God's chosen. A depraved, fallen people - impure and unrighteous and misled by the desires of their deceitful hearts. Despite this, whenever these fallen call out to Him - He answers. He makes them His own and He brings them through the refiners fire. He sanctifies them, often painfully, and burns away the dross.

When you think on the impurities in your own heart, what comes to mind? Is there any fear, anger, apathy, bitterness, selfishness, jealousy, hatred, shame, greed, arrogance, blame, laziness, dishonesty, unforgiveness, self-righteousness, discontentment? What unholiness taints your soul, corrupts your heart and makes you stand unclean? What are you refusing to let go of?

This week for TSMSS, I am posting Starfield's All For You. Let the cry of our hearts echo the simple words of this song - "Here I am. As gold to the fire I will surrender to Your hand..." and, "It's all for You, I'm letting go..."

As you listen to the words of this song - won't you take a moment to prayerfully meditate on the specific areas of your life where you are resisting the fire of the Great Refiner?

Surrendering,



I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean; I will cleanse you from all your impurities and from all your idols. I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws. You will live in the land I gave your forefathers; you will be my people, and I will be your God.
(Ezekiel 36:25-28)






All For You - Starfield

Nothing compares to the
Life I have in You
Nothing of this world satisfies
So, I want to let go
I want to let You know
All that I have to give is Yours

CHORUS
Here I am
As gold to the fire
I will surrender to Your hand
To this place
Lord, I have come ready for Your touch

It's all for You
It's all for You
I'm letting go
I'm letting go

What is it in me
That hangs on for so long
Why do I fight the tears that come?
I work so hard to
Keep in control when
All that I want is to let go

CHORUS

I'll take this life
And lay it down
I'm letting go
I'm letting go
My hopes and dreams
Here at Your feet
I'm letting go
I'm letting go

And I am ready for Your life
And I am ready for You now

Reflections After a Bout of Depression – Is it a Sin? Part 2

I want to follow up on my post a few weeks back in which I asked the tough question - Is my depression a sin? If you didn't read that post, you can here.

One of the biggest red flags for me regarding the possible sin nature of my depressive episodes is that they are a part of a long established pattern. As I said in my first post about this, I have had these dark seasons since I was a pre-teen. I have swung between balance and imbalance so many times that I cannot differentiate between one episode and the next. They have just become a part of who I am. I don't like them, but I have forged this truce within myself – a peace treaty between the healthy part of me and the unhealthy part of me. It's as if somewhere along the way I said to myself, “Cristine, you're gonna' go there, so just accept it. Just deal with it. It's who you are. It can't be changed.”

But today, this treaty just isn't sitting so well with me because God's word says that living the Christian life is all about change – big change. Ephesians 4 tells us that we are to put away with our old selves and rid ourselves of our former way of life. Romans 6:11 says that we are to count ourselves dead to sin and not let it reign in our bodies so that we obey its evil desires. Romans 6:4 reminds us that we were buried with Christ and therefore should walk in the newness of life. 2 Corinthians 5:17 says that we are new creations, that the old has passed away and that all things have been made new. And 1 John 1:6 tells us that God is light and that there is no darkness in Him at all. Those that say they walk with Him and yet are still walking in the darkness are lying and not practicing truth.

The fact is that Scripture goes on and on about spiritual change, about doing away with the negative and getting on with the positive. And Scripture assures us that this is all possible because we have One within us who has overcome the world. We have One in us who gives us the supernatural power for such change. All we have to do is yield to it. Submit to it. Follow it. Obey it. Walk in it. We don't have to talk about getting better and then struggle in our own willpower to so do. The power is already there... in us... because we have been born again and have the Holy Spirit within.

In this light, what makes my depression a sin is not that the emotions come or that I seem to have a bent toward them, but that I give into them when they come. It's what I choose to do with those murky feelings once they begin to form. You see, in every depressive episode there are always choices I make along the way. The choice to simmer in my own thoughts, rather than to marinate in God's word. The choice to listen to depressing music (even some Christian music), rather than to lift my hands in praise. The choice to lick my old wounds, rather than to focus on the blood that flowed from Christ's wounds. The choice to focus inward toward myself, rather than outward toward others and upward toward God. The choice to fill myself up with counterfeit comforters, rather than with the word and the spirit. The choice to fall down to the lies rather than to stand firm in the truth. The choice to shout darkness over my circumstances rather than speak light into my life. Choices.

Depressive emotions, in and of themselves, are not sins – but those of us that struggle to contain those depressive emotions should prayerfully go before the LORD and honestly evaluate the ways in which we get there. We should seek to uncover any sins within us that cause us to stumble over our emotions. We can't just accept that we get depressed as if there is no other way – as if it can not be changed. We must ask the Holy Spirit to reveal whether we are fully submitted to Christ or if we are submitting instead to the darkness that leads to depression.

My prayer tonight:

Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me, and know my anxieties;
And see if there is any wicked way in me,
And lead me in the way everlasting.
(Psalm 139:23-24)


Blessings and Love,